Last night I think I had a dream that I was eating a pizza crust. I woke up and I was actually chewing on my eye-mask.
And that’s how my first day of fasting began. By 7:30 am I was in the shower and all I could think about was how I might starve today.
I got on my bike and headed in for a work meeting. On the way, all I could think about was a McDonalds Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit. (I haven’t had one in or even thought of one in over 10 years).
At work, I went to the breakroom to get some tea (my first fast day I’m allowing myself tea). Guess what, there was some leftovers from a huge breakfast feast. And yes, the smell of bacon was in the air. What’s the deal with all this bacon. I couldn’t stop thinking through the following decision matrix (you’ll have to click on it to enlarge):
2pm - I have to admit the idea of fasting to get a feel for what it’s like to live in a refugee camp is kinda hard. Especially when I come home and there’s tons of food talking to me. They don’t have to deal with that part of it. This is going to be quite a process. I’m glad I’m keeping a journal, so I can see the progression.
3pm - I’m getting a little irritable. My stomach is growling in protest. Be quite – you spoiled large intestine!
4pm - This is just going to be a 24-hr fast, so at 9pm I can return to my “normal” life. That’s the weird part – that this is really just a game for me, but for others it’s everyday reality. My concentration is at about zero right now. All I can do is watch the clock. THIS IS SO SAD!
9pm - Well, I’m here to admit that I actually stopped early. Mary got home around 4:30pm or so. By then I was pretty irritable. Anyway, without much arm-twisting, I convinced myself to eat dinner with Mary and end the fast a little early. I convinced myself that it the relationship was more important than my daily fast goal. It’s funny how we can convince ourselves of things when something fits our real desires.
10pm – After a hearty chicken salad, bean soup, and a bowl of ice cream, I feel like a new man. I even feel like going for a run. This day has left too much to unpack in one entry. Needless to say, almost 32 years of eat-on-demand have trained my body into a distinct pattern of privilege. Right now, I’m feeling very humbled and fortunate for having this opportunity to “play a refugee for a day.”
beats today: 85,300
total beats: 211,300
