fast: a breakthrough

These past 24-hrs have been pretty cool.  I didn’t stuff my face before starting this fast.  I went to bed hungry.  I woke up hungry and I made it to lunchtime without dying!  All in all, not to bad.  In all seriousness, the big breakthrough was that I was actually able to do spend some time thinking not about my stomach but about issues.  The issue of how one ends up a refugee and what it’s like to live in a camp.  The issue of hunger.  The issue of homelessness.  The issue of loneliness.  The issue of being cold.  It was great.  I didn’t really come up with any big revelations except for the fact that these things are not insurmountable.  You can help without a big campaign.  You can make a difference.  Now, I just need to change the “you” to “I” and own it.  Hey, at least I got there.  It’s a step in the right direction.

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beats today: 102,000
my beats to date: 791,100

fast: surprised by food

This will officially be my shortest post!  I think more than likely this is due to the fact that today was a very long day.  Yesterday at noon I started fast #3.  Compared to the last couple, the process has changed quite dramatically.  I think I need to process this further, because this time around was almost as if nothing happened.  I’m not sure if I’m becoming desensitized to hunger or it was just that I was busy, but by noon today lunch came and I was surprised to see food.  This is a big change to the first couple times when I literally counted down the stopwatch!

In fact, things went so smoothly I even got in one of my key runs this evening.  I haven’t had such an intense workout since high school cross country.  This book is seriously doing something!  Tonight was 2 miles easy, followed by 8×1min hill repeats @ 5k pace.  I picked an insane hill to do the repeats on and it about did me in. 

Well, I’m wiped out, so I’m calling it a night.

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beats today: 103,600
my beats to date: 626,500

fast: irritable personality syndrome (i.p.s.)

So, this post will be my journal of thoughts for fast #2 (part of the whole my ninemillion project).  If you may recall, fast #1 was quite a day.  I started off eating my eyemask in my sleep, getting crankier and crankier as the hours went by, and then ending a couple hours before reaching the 24 hr point (all in the name of “needing to have dinner with my wife” – an important thing to do, yet lame excuse for me).

This time around I’m going to go the full 24 hours – seriously.  The format has changed a little too – it will go from noon to noon.  Let the journal begin:

Monday, Oct 20th

12:15pm - Well, I’m eating lunch a little late.  Will officially start @ 1:15pm.  Out of fear of dying of starvation, I bought a big hearty lunch from Specialty Bakery.  I just finished my southwest chicken and rice soup, now working on my sicilian sandwich, and will momentarily dive into my wheatgerm chocolate chip cookie (probably the best store-bought cookie in the world – in fact the Specialty has a warm cookie radar application – check it out).  It’s embarrassing to admit that I’m treating this as my “last meal” before my death sentence.  This isn’t how the rest of the world gets to deal with hunger.

1:15pm – The fast has officially begun.

3:30pm- Work is keeping me focused.  No problems yet.

4:45 - Heading home and then to meet some folks at the Wing Dome (hot wings & cool beer).  Am I insane? ….(Crazy note: on the way out of the office, I absent-mindedly grabbed a small Reese’s cup from someones treat dish.  I unwrapped it and had it 3 inches from my mouth before I realized I was fasting.  Just proves how much we take food for granted)

7:00pm- Survived the Wing Dome.  Now at home seeing all the food in the kitchen.  Got to stay occupied.  Read for a bit then watch some Scrubs, The Office, or Seinfeld (these are the only TV shows I really watch).

11:32pm- Kept myself busy without any major urges.  Now heading to bed.  It will be weird to see how this goes – I’ve never gone to bed without dinner.

Tuesday, Oct 21st

8:05am- Did someone feed me while I was sleeping?  Sure, I dreamed about food (cream-filled donuts, etc.), but I’m now awake and not really feeling crazy hungry or anything.  Note: my normal routine is to first thing when I wake up go to the kitchen and knock back a couple handfuls of chocolate chips!

9:55am- Drove to a meeting today and noticed a person sitting at an I-5exit ramp.  His sign said “homeless and hungry…“  For some reason (probably because I was hungry), I paid more attention that normal.  It was a strange experience to actually connect with his sign.  I had a green light, so didn’t stop or do anything.  Not sure if I would have – it’s always been a hard thing for me to get my arms around – making sense of asking for change at the on/off ramps.  You hear stories of people who make a good living doing that, but I’m sure there are also people who truly are in need.  Today didn’t solve any of my questions on this topic, but it did bring things closer to home.

1:14pm- Well, this has been a very different fasting experience this time around. Irritable Personality Syndrome “I.P.S” only kicked in once at around noon (victim was unfortunately Mary). I’m actually feeling o.k. and could physically go longer without a problem, but mentally I’m ready to eat.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’m getting used to fasting or because it was noon too noon and sleep gave me a break, but this time around was definitely easier.

1:52pm-In closing, I’m also noticing that my reflections on being hungry don’t start to really happen until later in the process. That may partly be due to the fact that I often skip meals because I get too busy doing something.  Anyway, while driving home from my meeting I went past the new location for nickelsville.  This is the first time I’ve seen tent city.  It’s remarkable to me that these folks are getting bounced from location to location.  I guess not really though.  They’re homeless – and most of the time they are hidden from view.  It reminded me in only the vaguest sense of the kibura slums in kenya.  Now, of course, those are real slums.  Heartbreaking stuff.  The pink tents and blue tarps of nickelsville is a completely different picture, but we’re still dealing with this contrast between distribution and living standards.  I remember visiting the slums in Kenya and then five minutes later being at a fancy latte shop and being unable to even order anything – it just didn’t make any sense.  Well, I probably wouldn’t have made that connection if I hadn’t fasted, so I’m glad I did.  It’s good to keep your eyes open – and if it takes an empty stomach to do it – well, that’s just what I have to do. O.K. time to eat.

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beats today: 93,600
my beats to date: 473,800

fast: eat your eye-mask

Last night I think I had a dream that I was eating a pizza crust.  I woke up and I was actually chewing on my eye-mask. 

And that’s how my first day of fasting began.  By 7:30 am I was in the shower and all I could think about was how I might starve today.

I got on my bike and headed in for a work meeting.  On the way, all I could think about was a McDonalds Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit.  (I haven’t had one in or even thought of one in over 10 years).

 

At work, I went to the breakroom to get some tea (my first fast day I’m allowing myself tea).  Guess what, there was some leftovers from a huge breakfast feast.  And yes, the smell of bacon was in the air.  What’s the deal with all this bacon.  I couldn’t stop thinking through the following decision matrix (you’ll have to click on it to enlarge):

2pm - I have to admit the idea of fasting to get a feel for what it’s like to live in a refugee camp is kinda hard.  Especially when I come home and there’s tons of food talking to me.  They don’t have to deal with that part of it.  This is going to be quite a process.  I’m glad I’m keeping a journal, so I can see the progression.

3pm - I’m getting a little irritable.  My stomach is growling in protest.  Be quite – you spoiled large intestine!

4pm - This is just going to be a 24-hr fast, so at 9pm I can return to my “normal” life.  That’s the weird part – that this is really just a game for me, but for others it’s everyday reality.  My concentration is at about zero right now.  All I can do is watch the clock.  THIS IS SO SAD!

9pm - Well, I’m here to admit that I actually stopped early.  Mary got home around 4:30pm or so.  By then I was pretty irritable.  Anyway, without much arm-twisting, I convinced myself to eat dinner with Mary and end the fast a little early.  I convinced myself that it the relationship was more important than my daily fast goal.  It’s funny how we can convince ourselves of things when something fits our real desires.

10pm – After a hearty chicken salad, bean soup, and a bowl of ice cream, I feel like a new man.  I even feel like going for a run.  This day has left too much to unpack in one entry.  Needless to say, almost 32 years of eat-on-demand have trained my body into a distinct pattern of privilege.  Right now, I’m feeling very humbled and fortunate for having this opportunity to “play a refugee for a day.” 

beats today: 85,300

total beats: 211,300